Thought for the week: Think Before You Speak (May 11, 2015)
The book “The Four Agreements” offers that we may experience a more fulfilling life if we adhere to four basic guidelines. One of these guidelines is to “be impeccable with your word”. Five simple words yet very difficult to do. In our attempts to keep up with this fast paced culture we live in, we sort through massive amounts of information at rapid speeds, multi tasking routinely whether we realize it or not, to manage all the details in our lives. It takes time to stop and think about everything we say, all the time; to think and to consider, “Am I being impeccable with my word?”. It is so easy to get caught up in conversations that suddenly become about someone. Before we know it we’ve blurted out our opinion or piece of information. The golden rule in divorce situations with children, as we know, is to never speak ill about the other parent. I submit this needs to be a golden rule whether divorce is in the picture or not. Speaking with family members often requires additional effort to “be impeccable” due to the routines we fall into with those closest to us. We can slice through a child’s heart in our recklessness or rush and we can set the tone for our partners day.
While it is important to have spaces where we can relax and be ourselves, we still need to consider the impact our words may have on others. It doesn’t mean we need to tip toe around everyone. Some scenarios require more thought than others. Thinking twice before speaking during day to day communications literally can happen at lightening speed in our brains if we allow it. Taking a breath to pause and think before speaking takes a few seconds longer but can transform a statement of disrespect into one of openness, honesty and respect. Generally starting sentences with “I” rather then “You” or “They” not only helps us think more about what we are saying, it creates an openness for the other to more clearly hear what you are saying.
Just a thought, for the week, to think about…..before you speak. 😉